>On friendship

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Did you ever had a friend who considered you her bestfriend but for you she’s just a friend? Or were you ever that person who had a bestfriend but for her you’re just a friend?

I received a letter from a friend. I thought it was the usual hi, hello how are you thing. But I was wrong. She wrote to tell me after all these years, she’s had only one bestfriend and it was me! I felt so guilty because I never saw her that way. I had only one bestfriend and he’s a guy and was never her. What did I ever do to her to make me a her bestfriend? Yes, we were close. Only because her kuya and my cousins are bestfriends and because we both play the same game when we were still in highschool. But I never poured my soul and my deepest thoughts with her.( isn’t that what bestfriend do?) For a time, we didn’t have any communication and it didn’t bother me until now. IF she did consider me her bestfriend, how awful must she felt on those times when I didn’t reached out and communicated with her. I am such a bad friend. I never knew it was possible that way. Someone holds you close more than you could ever imagine he/she should. I feel so guilty.

But I couldn’t just let her know that I don’t feel the same way about her. I don’t want to break her heart twice. What can I do? If I knew then, would it make a difference?

Her exact words were: “ang dami ko na namiss sayo. keep me posted friend. bestfriend kaya kita kahit minsan lang tayo magusap…sana ganun din ako kahit married ka na. things are the same..”

I’m so sorry. It really breaks my heart…

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Jhong

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