Did your child ever had tantrums? Or has your child been the most terrible two?
They said every child goes through the terrible two stage or the tantrum three but my daughter outgrew these stages and never had we experience any tantrums, ear piercing scream and extreme mood swings. Our daughter, Peaches is the perfect picture of a well behaved, happy child.
I often tell people that Peaches is the kind of girl that sees good in everything and everyone. She’s the most giving friend, cousin and now big sister you’ll ever meet. She’ll do all these wonderful things with a good and kind heart.
And she’s only 6.
I hope she continues to be a gentle and kind soul up until she’s an adult.
All of my relatives and friends come up to me and say how well behaved Peaches is and often ask how I managed to raise a little girl like her. To be honest, I don’t think we did anything special except that my husband and I vowed and agreed to use positive parenting- we are definitely NO SPANKING PARENTS. Aside from that, here are few of our parenting guidelines that we are doing.
1. Be a role model – Practice what you teach.
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
― James Baldwin
Your young children looks up to you NO MATTER WHAT and WHO you are. In their eyes, you’re the BEST person and whatever you say or do is always RIGHT. So, Dads who talk bad to their wives isn’t doing their children any good as well as Moms who does the same aren’t any better.
When you want your child to be kind, show her how.
When you want your child to eat vegetables more than junkfood, eat it with her. Explain why it’s good and what will it make her.
Whatever you want your child to do or act, teach her by showing her how.
Sometimes, kids don’t listen or LOOK like they don’t BUT they do.
2. No screaming, NO MATTER WHAT. REST INSTEAD.
“Anxiety is contagious—– and so is being calm”
– Pinay Mompreneur
Years ago, I am not the most patient person in the world but when I became a mother, I learned to accept that in order to ensure world peace, I NEED TO BE PATIENT. Hence, no reason to scream. Even when things get tough in the house and the kids. My secret is to withdraw, retreat or whatever you call it anytime you feel you’re near your breaking point. I’ve also learned to be sensitive with my husband’s temperament and mood, if I feel he’s tired from caring for our kid (ah yes, he’s hands on as I am), I ask him to switch places so he can take a breather.
If you’re tired and you keep pushing yourself because you’re too proud to ask for help, you’ll end up being grouchy and bruha. More chances of snapping on your kids and deflecting your feelings towards them.
3. Set house rules and follow it.
Children thrive when they know what to expect. Achieve this through routines you’ve set for them to follow, rules to obey and reminders to live by. The thing about setting rules is that you should explain to your kids WHY it has to be done. Like I tell my kid she needs to clean up after playing so she’ll know where to get them when she wants to play again. I also tell her to take her nap because when she’s older like Mommy, she’ll wish she can nap (LOL). Never underestimate your child’s capacity to understand you.
Next, don’t break your own rules. Stick to it like your life depends on it (actually, it does!). There’s this saying, when Mommy says NO, ask Grandma.It’s so true but it’s something we have to give to our parents! That’s what they’re for and they enjoy doing it.
I tell Peaches, no more sweet treats by 6PM but when she’s at Nanie’s house (my MIL), it’s sky’s the limit. LOL.
4. Give plenty of praises.
Some parents are guilty of not giving appropriate praise to their children when they excel or do something good simply because THEY EXPECT their children to be one. Be generous with your praises. Celebrate your child’s minor or major achievement. It makes them feel validated (I expect you feel the same way too when being praised by your boss).
I would say “Thank you, Babe for being so patient at dinner tonight” and my daughter, since she felt good about it, would behave well every time we dine out. And every time, I praise her.
5. BE THERE.
If your child calls you to show you the new drawing she did, be there.
If your child wants you to hear her new favorite song,after playing it over and over again, be there.
If your child asks you to watch her do her cartwheels in gymnastic class, be there even if it meant sitting in for 3 hours smelling like feet.
If your child asks you to read her a story even if she’s read it a thousand times and memorized the lines, be there.
It’s tough. Nobody said being a parent is easy peasy. Remember you’re raising a person and helping him or her discover life and its potentials.
My principle is simple, my children weren’t meant to figure out life on their own, that’s what us, parents are for!
I don’t claim to be an expert in parenting, heck! I have one more bite size baby who’s showing A LOT OF PERSONALITY at 4 months to raise and hopefully, she’ll grow up like her big sister.