Peaches had been really difficult today. I would want to tell point by point what she did but all I have to say is that, tonight when I am finally able to sit and do things for myself, I feel like a piston went over me TWICE. My extremities feel like they’re going to come off any minute and my eyes will pop out any moment.

I have never felt so tired before. Oh and my back is SCREAMING for a massage.

T said he sees how much we are in need of a nanny. THANK GOD he does.

Still, I have doubts if we could ever afford one. And aside from that I feel guilty of hiring one (although I am not leaving Peaches with a nanny, I’m still at home hopefully working) I don’t know why but I feel that way. On the other hand, I get tired so often these days and Peaches tests my patience EVERYDAY. I don’t want to inflict pain on my daughter intentionally or unintentionally but when in a situation where your limits are blown; you’ll never know what you can do. That’s what I’m afraid of, hurting her because of desperation, frustration and anger.